I’m certainly not one to share too many personal things on social media but this is something I’ve thought about for a while now and have decided to throw it out there in hopes it provides some encouragement if needed.
About me – I turned 34 a few months ago, I have a great job, I’m healthy, have wonderful friends and family, and a place to call home. Are things perfect? No, but overall I’d say I’m doing alright. So what would I have to be depressed about?
I was a psychology major. I am all for getting help when needed. But when it came to me, it was a strange time to look in the mirror. Am I depressed? Do I need to go on an antidepressant? I have nothing to be sad about, but I’m sad. Is it going to make me feel like a zombie or numb my feelings if I start taking something? Do I really need it? Will these moods pass? Will I have to be on it forever if I start taking one? Are people going to look at me differently if they know I’m on one? These were all things that went through my head when considering making the call to my doctor. I made the call. We talked about it and what I was feeling. He prescribed me a low dose antidepressant.
Depression isn’t always an attribution to a particular “thing” that you’re sad about. I wasn’t in a deep depression, I still enjoyed things, but I found myself just feeling off. I would react in ways that weren’t necessary, I would cry in situations that didn’t need to be cried about, I was extremely moody, there’s no other way to explain it other than I just felt weird.
I’ve been taking it for almost two years now and my only regret is not making the call sooner. I’ve always had feelings that went up and down. I didn’t understand that it didn’t have to be that way. I thought it was normal. I now feel better than I ever have. All of those questions and worries went out the door after I really started to feel a change. All jokes aside, nothing is wrong with me, I just have a little imbalance. We take medicines for diabetes, or high blood pressure, this is the same thing. I still have feelings, I still react, but it’s not to the extreme extent it was. I am a better version of me and it’s okay that I have to take my daily medication to be that.
So that’s all. You’re not alone. I know I’m not, and I hope by sharing it gives some encouragement if it’s ever anything you’ve considered as well.
**Love Will Voices is a blog series featuring those who are or who have struggled with mental health. It is meant to bring awareness, understanding and support. If you would like to share your story with us, please email firstname.lastname@example.org**