Love Will Voices: Jenni’s Story

Please welcome Jenni to the blog.  Jenni’s experience with depression will resonate with many others and we thank her for allowing us to share her words in this space.  If you or anyone you know is battling depression or contemplating suicide, there is help: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline . 

Celebrate the Little Things

Sometimes the darkness sets in.

Like many people right now, I am emotionally spent.

Empty.

Exhausted.

Broken.

My thoughts are cloudy.

My creativity is stunted.

My attention span is non existent.

The arguing and tension and constant back and forth of the past week has completely drained me.

The anger, hatred, mistrust, and insults have deflated my hope.

I could feel the darkness coming this time and I tried hard to make it stop.

I decorated my house for the holidays to usher in some cheer.

I rearranged my living room to give a refresh to my surroundings.

I limited social media.

I firmed up my boundaries with people that drain me.

I spent time being with and talking to people I love.

I clung to anything that felt remotely like hope.

But the darkness still came.

I opened my eye this morning and felt it – the crushing weight of depression and anxiety. The air was thick with it.

So, I stopped fighting it.

This morning I let the tears come. I moved some of my “to do” items to later this week. I gave myself permission to be gentle with myself. I leaned in to the things I can control.

Although I feel the weight of the darkness, I will show up today for the people who need me.

I will be kind to myself.

I will keep looking for signs of hope and cling to them tightly.

I will continue to try to spread lightness, even in times of darkness.

I will celebrate the little things.

For those of you feeling it all too, remember that you are not alone.

This hard time will pass.

Brighter days are ahead.

They have to be.

Originally posted on Changing Perspectives Blog.

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**Love Will Voices is a blog series featuring those who are or who have struggled with mental health. It is meant to bring awareness, understanding and support. If you would like to share your story with us, please email info@lovewillfoundation.org**