“I can see the light in you. Sara is back,” says my therapist at my most recent counseling session.

And I feel it too. God, it feels good.

Although, it is a little strange to make peace with death, yearn for relief, and then find yourself still alive.

And wanting to live.

But, I’m grateful for the chance.

I was determined to think I was strong enough to handle this disease without anyone’s help. I fooled myself into thinking that my medications were optional.

Yesterday I completed 13 sessions of intensive outpatient therapy.

I have now accepted and learned that asking for help is not weakness. Neither is the row of prescriptions that line my cabinet.

It is not a secret of which to be ashamed.

It is part of managing this chronic illness, which is a chemical imbalance.

The last five weeks have been a journey of healing and awareness. I have learned everything from it. I do not feel the need to relive the past but rather, I am ready to move forward.

I will keep practicing my coping skills; being more mindful of my thoughts that turn into actions; taking my medications as prescribed; processing stressors as they happen; attending doctor and counseling appointments as indicated;

and more;

It has been nine days since my hope returned. I never thought it would, but here I am;

Feeling better;

Lighter;

More capable;

Better prepared;

Ready;

To those who kept telling me my life was worth living…

…you were right;

XO,

Sara

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