“I can see the light in you. Sara is back,” says my therapist at my most recent counseling session.
And I feel it too. God, it feels good.
Although, it is a little strange to make peace with death, yearn for relief, and then find yourself still alive.
And wanting to live.
But, I’m grateful for the chance.
I was determined to think I was strong enough to handle this disease without anyone’s help. I fooled myself into thinking that my medications were optional.
Yesterday I completed 13 sessions of intensive outpatient therapy.
I have now accepted and learned that asking for help is not weakness. Neither is the row of prescriptions that line my cabinet.
It is not a secret of which to be ashamed.
It is part of managing this chronic illness, which is a chemical imbalance.
The last five weeks have been a journey of healing and awareness. I have learned everything from it. I do not feel the need to relive the past but rather, I am ready to move forward.
I will keep practicing my coping skills; being more mindful of my thoughts that turn into actions; taking my medications as prescribed; processing stressors as they happen; attending doctor and counseling appointments as indicated;
It has been nine days since my hope returned. I never thought it would, but here I am;
To those who kept telling me my life was worth living…
…you were right;